Warning: This episode of Ad’s All Folks contains images that some may find disturbing.
Fear in adverts is nothing new. It’s used for everything you buy.
Why did you put on deodorant today? Because you didn’t want to smell. Why? Well, if you smell then people won’t come near you, not even Sarah, that sweet girl you meet every morning at the coffee machine. You know the one. Always laughs at your jokes, eyes sparkling like a galaxy, breasts like the front lights of a land rover. Soon you’ll become a social outcast with only your cats for company. And eventually, even they will prefer to lick their genitalia more than usual in a vain effort to escape the crusty, bottom of the sea bed smell emitting forth from the vast hairy holes you call armpits. Ooh, you dirty, smelly boy! Bad boy! Go to your room, you social fuck up.
See… Fear.
Fear is best used those in an advert if it’s convincing you that something is bad for you. However, most ad execs are aware that they are up against an indifferent population who, soon as seeing an anti-smoking ad, will jam their fingers in their ears and go lalalalalalalalalalaalalalalalalalala whilst marching to the back door to have a cig.
So, some come to the conclusion that you need to shock your audience. Grab them by the balls and make them lick those dirty lungs. Hold them. Squeeze them. Stop smoking your bastards or you’ll die!
A tad strong? Then you’ve never seen how the Australians do it. They are the second most terrifying country when it comes to adverts.
The first examples of Australia using Eli Roth style finger wagging were the adverts produced by the Transport Accidents Commission or TAC. These adverts went out of their way to show you the worse possible scenario of everything vehicular based.
Hey! Stop dicking around in cars or I make Hostel 3: Electric Boogaloo!
Take this example of the extras of Round the Twist getting up to some tomfoolery on the way back from a Kylie Minogue gig or whatever it was that Australians did back in the 90s when they weren’t getting undercuts or perms.
Then there’s this one where a group of men convince their mate to have another beer before driving home. Oh you crazy guys, what’s the worse that can happen.
Well, okay, apart from that.
The problem I have with this advert is that I’m pretty sure that straight after that phone call they all had another drink in memory of their mate before getting in their cars and driving home. I call it the vicious TAC circle!
And that was the problem, the adverts become parodies of themselves. People began chatting about them over the water cooler in the same way one would talk about the latest horror film. The TACs polystematic approach wasn’t working. Hell, there was even a pop song about them by Australia’s answer to Slipknot, TISM.
Soon the adverts began to tone down their grisly foreplay and more subtle uses of wordplay and overtly smug men were put forward.
So, where do you go from there. Well WorkSafe Victoria decided to have a go. WorkSafe Victoria is a government initiative to encourage safety at work. How to put that message across? Subtlety? What’s more subtle than this?
See, subtle. And there’s half a dozen of these. From man throws pan of hot water over his head in kitchen to woman takes thumb off with bread slicer. All of them designed to shock, stay in the memory and make you fear even picking up a pencil before asking your boss what to do.
So aware are WorkSafe of the impact their horror porn makes, they even rolled out one this christmas that made you almost will injury upon a man despite him having a happy loving family.
Oh no! Where is he? Has he inadvertently welded his face to a pigeon? Dipped his todger in tar? Press play if you dare…
So why squinty in the previous ad will never be able to watch another 3D movie again, we’re made to realise that the true meaning of Christmas is to not to kill yourself in an industrial accident.
Merry Christmas everyone.
No?
Oh, you want this don’t you?
There you go. You sadist.
Oh and if you’re wondering why I said Australia are the second worse country, it’s because I need to introduce you to Thai Insurance ads.
Happy new year everybody!
Next week on a very special episode of Ad’s All Folks, Idiot Box helps his friend get some perspective on their itchy flaky scalp by taking them to a burns unit.
