I’ve never watched Gossip Girl. I saw the ad campaigns for the second season whilst in New York last year and thought
Rebel, rebel...
‘nah’. So, it was a surprise to myself that I was drawn to this article about one of its stars, Taylor Momsen. A young ‘un who comes across as a 16 year old Courtney Love wannabe. Though quite why anyone would model themselves on that virus in lipstick is beyond me. But there she is, stinking of Ajax and promoting her new band, the Pretty Reckless. During an interview with Teen Vogue, Ms Momsen made several comments about having nothing in common with teenagers due to everything they say and think being ‘petty’. Apparently, she found high school ‘kind of boring’ and when it came to school mates the Peaches Geldof-lite waif said ‘I just can’t relate to what they talk about’.
I already felt sorry for her when I saw her face, but as I read her interview I began to understand her more and realised that she was a dove among the pigeons. She’s right; she has absolutely nothing in common with the average teenager. Let’s look at some of the examples:
I’ve always been like that. People misinterpret what I say all the time: They think I’m being offensive, when really, I’m only being opinionated.
Opinionated young woman who no one understands. Well, already I can see why she has nothing in common with her peers. It must be hard to watch them go about their lives safe in the knowledge that everyone thinks exactly the same as them.
I found (high school) kind of boring.
Oh these fools who enjoy high school to the point that they get something out of it like an education! If only they shared the same thoughts and ideas as Taylor Momsen. Then they too could throw down the shackles of academic oppression.
I’m an artist; I’m not going to use trigonometry.
See, this is the rock rebellion coming through now. How lonely Taylor must have felt sat in Trigonometry class looking at her classmates and having that one thought her friends would never had. She had no time for maths. Maths was for losers. Good for her for realising this sooner rather than later. God knows what could have happened.
Here’s who I am, either you like it or you don’t.
Individuality. As I type, teenagers up and down the country are probably reeling at this concept. The very idea that someone could like you whilst another couldn’t has probably altered a lot of people’s perspectives about Taylor. Probably to the point where some people like her whilst the rest, um, don’t.
My parents know that I’m not going to date someone who’s sixteen. Boys are so much less mature than girls as it is; there’s just no way— I would eat a boy my age alive.
Fucking A. Why should Taylor stoop so low as dating someone of her age group when there are loads of dreamy older men who appreciate the value of jail bait.
I have such trust complexes.
All these teenagers who are comfortable in their own skins weep now for TM who simply can’t allow anyone to get close to her. I am literally weeping so hard I can barely see the screen.
Ok, so I can’t keep this pretence up. I think my sarcasm couldn’t be more obvious even if it painted its bottom blue.
The saddest part about this whole interview is that Taylor is so far up her own inflated ego that she has literally has no idea that she has so much in common with the average teenager. For God’s sake, she’s even in a garage band! I bet she even watches The Wiggles, but, you know, ironically.
I think what makes me slightly angry is that by her spouting this utter bile and smearing across the pages of Teen Vogue, it’s going to be picked up by some vulnerable teenager who doesn’t have an acting career or a pop band to fall back onto. So, when little Sally jacks in school she’s going to pleasantly surprised that a distinct change in wardrobe and deliberately looking like an aged bleached handbag is not going to stop you from serving me burgers.
So, if there is anyone reading this who feel Taylor Momsen is grand role model, just keep repeating this one phrase over and over, ‘Do you want fries with that?’.
