There's nothing wrong with me lovin' you....

There's nothing wrong with me lovin' you....

I used to read a lot of fan fiction back in the day. My friend, going by the name Tyler Bateman, used to write a load of it and occasionally I would be a charector in the story. Nine times out of ten I was either dead or dying… Nice.

Anyway, I developed quite a fondness for the bad fiction. The toe curlers. The one’s where Chandler would commit suicide whilst listening to Marilyn Manson. You know, that kind of thing. I stopped a long time a go when Tyler stopped writing. Which is such a shame, because there are some fantastic bits of writing out there. Topless Robot has taken to finding those bits of fan fiction that don’t really scream classy.

What I want to present to you is one of those great bits of fan fiction. There is no real reason why this story exists. Maybe it was a dare. Maybe the author just has a really twisted imagination. Either way, god bless them.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce a Hogwarts/Giant Squid ‘shipper.

That’s right. Hogwarts lies back and thinks of England at the hands of a tentacled fiend. If the following quote intrigues you, then click on it for the full story.


“I’ll go slow. I promise.” He began to caress a window, teasing it open. Hogwarts sighed, the fight leaving him. He relaxed, allowing the tentacle inside, where it brushed against the inner walls before settling on the stone floor. He fastened the suction cups to the floor, lifting the tentacle away so that it pulled on the floor without losing its grip.

Topless Robot have written a full commentary of the marine cephalopods lovefest and that can be found here.

Check TR out every friday for more hair raising tales of lust.