The Wii console has become a bit of a cash cow since its inception. Its innovative interactive games have become a staple of family gatherings, Christmas and funerals. Its beauty is in its simplicity. Everyone can pick up a wiimote (Oh, I get it!) and be playing before you know it. Sure it is not like its cousins; PS3 and XBOX. Its graphics aren’t as smooth, its games catalogue somewhat limited, and, sometimes, when it call round to call its cousins they would pretend to be out or feign rigamortis till it got the message and left.
Then something went horribly wrong. Someone at Ubisoft decide that the family demographic wasn’t good enough. No, to truly make literal bags of money, the Wii needs to aim its sights at a newer more virile market. Forget your Greys, no you need to go for the people who like to stick wiimotes in any open orifice market.
In this ad for Ubisoft’s We Dare, we’re taken on a journey of sexy sexiness that can now be provided through Nintendo’s little white box.
With a backing track that sounds like a Doom level set in a brothel and an attempt to come across as sleek and glamorous, We Dare appears to be nothing more than a series of parlour games that could be played any numbers of ways other than what’s been shown.
But by Christ, they try hard to make you think otherwise. Take Jason Biggs here who spends the entire time looking a man who has been trying to get his wife into an orgy for some time now and, finally, FINALLY has the chance to do so thanks to Ubisoft.
If you ignore the ‘fun’ that’s going on, you’re suddenly distracted by the coldness of some the protagonists faces. Look into the eyes of this hapless feck.
They’re deadened not only from the knowledge of her husband’s soon to be infidelity but the understanding that, once again, it will be down to her to tidy away the body parts when this whole sorry affair reaches it’s inevitable bloody conclusion.
The reality is that most people who will even consider this titillating are middle aged couples whose thoughts of copulation are mulled over whilst peeling the sprouts for Sunday dinner and often involve several other like minded people.
