So, yeah. I only really have myself to blame on this one. That said, I’m not going to let it stop me from commenting on what will always be known to me as that film where J-Lo compares a mouth to a vagina and a penis to a sea slug.
There are many things wrong with this film. Ben Affleck playing a cunt hole hit man? Wrong. Jennifer Lopez playing a sassy lesbian contractor? Wrong. The idea that lesbians just need a good dicking? Wrong.
The dialogue reeks of being written by a 15 year old impersonating a Tarantino movie whilst Justin Bartha seems to be auditioning for the Rain Man 2. In fact, if you’re going to see one film where Ben-A fucks a lesbian, make it Chasing Amy. At least everyone was likeable in that.
When we first meet Gigli (Affleck), we’re constantly reminded that he is a soft touch amongst the other gangsters. Such a soft touch, that when Justin Bartha’s mentally challenged act gets to much for him he pounds his head against a wall.
‘Oh please can the retard beater get together with the girl now! He’s ever so loveable!’
